


Humanity's Despair

by darth_fluffy



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Being Meguca Is Suffering, Drama, Manga Spoilers, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tragedy, if i decide to continue this thing, well not really but it is based on chapter 65 so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3154835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_fluffy/pseuds/darth_fluffy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren doesn't take the truth about the Puella Magi system well.</p><p>Based on chapter 65 of the manga.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He sits at the top of the steps, his shoulders slumped and his head between his knees, his right hand clenched around- _something._ Historia can't tell what.

For a second, she thinks he looks almost...  _defeated._ Broken and hopeless, as if his heart lay beaten in the dirt.

And then she wants to laugh, because that thought is  _absurd._

Because Eren's  _always_ been the strong one, the fighter, the one of them who  _never_ gave up.

He's always been their own personal beacon of hope.

Historia can remember a hundred- a  _thousand_ times where he'd managed to pull them allback from the brink of despair.After every lost battle, every death, every person they’d failed to save, he’d remind them of their mission, the fire in his green eyes flashing with vengeance as he told them,  _"If you don't fight, you can't win."_

 _"You don't think we can win this fight? So are you just gonna run? There are innocent_ people dying  _out there! So just get your head out of your ass and_ do it  _already!"_

_"I'll kill them all. Every last one of those monsters that's on this earth!"_

_Impossible,_ she thinks.

Eren doesn't give up.

It's just not  _possible._

 _He's fine. Of_ course _he is._

"Eren?" she calls, her voice so  _small, infinitely_ small, against the cavern that surrounds them. "What is it? What's wrong?"

He doesn't look up, doesn't acknowledge her, doesn't even move at  _all._ And when he finally does speak, his voice is dead, lifeless, hollow, with none of the burning passion, that had given her-  _all_ of them-  _hope._

"I was unnecessary."

"What?"

"Marco.... Thomas... Mina..." he continues, the edge of a sob in his voice.  _"None_ of them had to die! All those fights, all those deaths, all our dreams... it was all pointless. For  _nothing."_

_Eren... no..._

 Historia spreads her hands helplessly. "What are you  _talking_ about, Eren? I don't understand.... You're the one who said we could  _win!_ That we could eliminate every last witch in the world!"

At last, he raises his head to look at her. His eyes are rimmed in red- from crying, or lack of sleep, or something else entirely, Historia can't be sure- and his cheeks glistening with tears. "When I said I'd kill every last witch in this world-" here his face twists into a cruel mockery of a smile- "I guess that meant you and me as well, Historia. And Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha..."

She shakes her head. "Eren, you're not making any sense. We're  _not_ witches. Why would you even  _think_ that?"

"It's true. When our Soul Gems turn too dark... that's where witches come from. " His shoulders shake and his breath comes in a short, broken gasp. "All along... we were monsters in the making. If only..." His voice breaks in two. "If only we hadn't wished..."

Historia's eyes go wide and she staggers backwards, away from Eren the almost-witch. "No..."

Her  _own_ Soul Gem falls to the floor with a soft  _chink,_ its lavender-pink light suddenly clouded by the gathering storm within her heart.

_We're doomed._

_We'll become monsters._

_He's right._

_We shouldn't have dreamed._

_"Damn_ it!" His shout echoes around the cavern as he brings his hand down on the stone steps, leaving a bright smear of blood in its wake. "Mikasa... Jean... Sasha... Connie... They all made their contracts because of  _me!_ They'll either die fighting a pointless battle or turn into a witch and it's all my  _fault!"_

Historia never knew that a shout could sound both so passionate and so empty at the same time.

And that's when Eren breaks.

He buries his face in the crook of his arm and lets out a long, low cry. To Historia, it's almost as if the sound  _itself_ is bleeding.

It's a while before he's recovered enough to talk.

"Kyubey... he said I was strong. Powerful. And I thought... I thought I could use that power to save the world." He makes a noise that's somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "But the world never  _needed_ saving in the first place, did it?! I just doomed it instead. I thought I was humanity's hope, but all along, I was humanity's despair."

With shaking hands, Eren reaches behind him and tosses a Grief Seed towards her.

"Eren, no!"She starts up the steps towards him, hesitantly, cautiously, like a baby bird learning to fly. "You need it more than I do. Use it! You can still save yourself!"

Eren makes that half-laugh noise again. "Don't be stupid. Don't sacrifice yourself on my account. One Grief Seed won't make me stop hating myself."

 _Eren, you didn't do anything wrong,_ she thinks but doesn't say.

_I did._

_I was born._

"Historia... can you do me a favor?"

Her answer has to fight its way past the lump in her throat. "Yes."

"Get out of here. Use the Grief Seed and save yourself. Tell the others the truth, that we were all lied to. And keep fighting for as long as you can. Walpurgisnacht is coming, and you're the only one of us besides me who could ever  _hope_ to destroy it."

"I can't..." she starts to say.

"You  _have_ to. You're our only hope."

_If I saved this city... people would love me. They would praise me._

_For_ me.

_Not because I sold my soul to make them._

At her feet, her Soul Gem darkens.

"And Historia... tell Mikasa... and everyone else..." his voice shatters again, "...that I'm sorry."

Historia swallows hard. "I will. And Eren... I told you my wish... and you didn't hate me." The tears pricking her eyes finally spill over. "Thank you for that."

"And one last thing..."

Eren opens his clenched hand.

A small, jewel-like object comes tumbling, down the stairs towards her.

She picks it up.

It's Eren's Soul Gem.

Once brilliant emerald.

Now it's almost completely black.

"I don't want to become a witch."


	2. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mikasa accidentally destroys everything.

_Drip, drip, drip._

Her tears leave dark splotches on the cold stone floor as she lifts her Soul Gem up and clutches it close to her heart.

A surge of magic, a flash of light, and her iridescent white cape billows behind her.

She sets Eren's Soul Gem down on the steps in front of her and, with shaking hands, raises her dagger high above it.

For a second, their eyes meet.

_...I'm sorry, Eren._

_You were my friend._

She takes a deep breath, squeezes her eyes shut, and brings the knife down.

Nothing happens.

She opens her eyes to find a thin white scratch mark in the stone, inches away from Eren's soul.

_I... missed?_

Once more, she raises the knife above it.

This time she doesn't close her eyes.

Seconds before impact, the path of her dagger veers abruptly to the side, as if guided by the hand of God Himself.

"Historia,  _do it!"_ Eren shouts.

"I'm  _trying!"_

_What's going on? Why can't I hit it?_

She doesn't have long to ponder.

Eren's Soul Gem shatters into a spindle black as pitch.

A Grief Seed.

***

Wait!  _Mikasa calls._

_The white creature in front of her turns its head back to face her._ What is it?

Eren made a contract with you. He'll have to fight witches from now on,  _Mikasa thinks to it, trying and failing to keep the desperation out of her mental voice._ He could get hurt... or killed...

Yes. He could.

Can you reverse it? Make it so that he doesn't have to fight anymore? Please?

That is not within my power.

_"Please!" Mikasa cries out loud."You don't_ understand!  _He's_ all  _I've got_ left!"

_She sinks to the ground, hot tears tracing a path down her cheeks._ I  _can't_ lose him. I  _can't._

You can still protect him,  _the creature says in her mind._

What?

Any wish you want, I can grant it. If you love him that much, shouldn't you wish for his safety? Make a contract with me and fight by his side. You'll be able to protect the one you love. The only question is, will you accept my offer?

"Yes,"  _Mikasa says in strangled tones."I'll become a magical girl. If I can protect him, I'll do it. No matter_ what _it_   _takes."_

What is your wish, Mikasa Ackerman?

_Her voice is steady and clear now, free of pain. "I wish that no matter how badly he is injured, Eren Yeager will not die. As long as there is still breath in my body, he will be safe from harm."_

_***_

Mikasa's the first to send the sudden flare of magical energy.

An new with, somewhere up ahead. 

A very powerful one.

_Eren's there._

_Alone, with the witch._

_I have to get to him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to make it a multichapter story after all.
> 
> MIKASA YOU DONE FUCKED UP

**Author's Note:**

> Because the ONLY POSSIBLE WAY to make chapter 65 sadder is to set it in the PMMM universe.
> 
> Also Sayaka is totally Erekuri lovechild.
> 
> I might continue this thing, depending on the response.


End file.
